Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
