so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
