I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
