no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
