it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Shame is for Republicans.
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