i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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