And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
