Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Randomize
