That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I need to stop coming to work sober
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The brown eye won't let me do that either.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
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I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
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