Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
