Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I could have mohawked her pubes.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
