I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
