i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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