ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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