I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
