is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I got inside last night via doggy door
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
