can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
