i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
