His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
