he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
