i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Of course I have a pirate flag
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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