Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
