Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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