I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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