Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
