He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
