Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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