wrigley field is MILF paradise
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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