but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
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HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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