You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
