she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
