i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
