I wish my penis had an off switch
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I cannot find my penis.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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