I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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