but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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