I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
