so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
