i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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