It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
