She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
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