I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
