I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
