I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
