I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
