Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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