What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
