so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She's the barista slut.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
