When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
