I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
