yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
