He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
