My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize