Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
