Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
