oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
