nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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