My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
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