true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
