your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
