they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
dude. I can hear the air.
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