even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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