...so i touched it.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
