i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
