did you get engaged???
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize