how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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