chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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