Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
